Losing your significant other is tough, but seeing them with someone else is a tall order. Often, seeing an ex with someone new can remind us of all the good times we shared, which sometimes makes us want them back. It is not uncommon to start seeing new people after a break-up, though most such relationships are rebounds that don’t last very long. If that’s the case, you can still try to get your ex back. Here are some tips to help you:
1. Speak to a Counselor or Therapist
It takes two to tango in a relationship. Both parties have a role in relationship dynamics. That said, it is crucial to get objective feedback on what went south in your relationship. Your friends and family are a great support, but they can also be biased and want to stand by your side. You may have friends and family who are into “tough love, “ and they also can be biased against you. Someone like a therapist can help you analyze what happened and your role and your partner’s role in the breakdown and your attachment style. Speak to a counselor or therapist may be the best thing to do.
2. Work on Yourself
Chances are you may be behaving in some of these patterns subconsciously, which can significantly affect how you relate with your ex-partner. Some of the sabotaging patternings are:
Lack of Passion
Lack of Communication Skills
Inability to Commit
Lack of Social Skills
Lack of Motivation in Life
Inability to Trust
Need to Control
If you feel any of these points resonate with you, it is time to start working on them. If you don’t know how to work on these issues, speak to a counselor or therapist may be the best thing to do. To start fresh (whether with your ex or a new partner), you must acknowledge the behaviors that are not useful to you. The more self-improvement they see, the higher the odds are of a successful relationship, whether with your ex or without your ex.
The more self-improvement they see, the higher the odds are of them wanting to repair the relationship with you.
3. The No Contact Rule
Your ex needs to realize how much they need you. For this to be possible, you must cut off all contact with them for four weeks. Do not call, text, or drunk dial them, even by accident. The chances are that if they miss you enough, they will reach out. However, this rule does not work for everyone. If you feel your ex will misinterpret your attitude as a cold shoulder, skip this tip!
4. Value Yourself
Your ex needs to know just how great you are. Self-respect and confidence go hand-in-hand. When you value yourself, your ex will understand that you deserve the best. When you do get a chance to talk to them, make it clear that you used the time after your breakup to work on yourself instead of crying over them. This will show maturity on your part and prove that you can handle a relationship. Moreover, don’t express jealousy towards their rebound date. It will only make you look weak and lacking in self-respect.
With these great tips, your ex will get over their rebound and be back to you in no time!