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How to Choose a Career Based on Your Personality

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When you’re at a restaurant and have to choose a meal from the menu, how do you decide? Remember, the dish you order now will stay with you for the rest of the night. It’s a pressuring decision, isn’t it? Not to mention the exorbitant cost of dining outside.

We encounter a similar situation when choosing our career path. While not as intense as choosing a meal for dinner, both examples have a lot in common.

Just like dinner, you’re expected to pay for college tuition by yourself. Moreover, you have to finish the entire course and can’t drop out halfway. If you do, you won’t get your degree, without which landing a stable job is near impossible.

The career you pick will stay with you for the rest of your life, so choose wisely!

Choosing Your Career

So how, exactly, are you supposed to select a career path that suits your personality and you’re comfortable committing to for the next few decades? Well, we’ve got some great tips for you:

Take the Holland Code Career Test

The Holland Code Career Test (alternatively known as RAISEC) is by far the most common tool in modern psychology used to classify human personalities. The test will group you into one (or more) of six dominant personality types while suggesting career paths based on your strengths and weaknesses.

The test will classify you as one of the following:

Builders (AKA ‘realistic’)

Builders are hardcore realists who prefer practical work over theory. If this sounds like you, a good career path for you might be construction, engineering or sports.

Thinkers (AKA ‘investigative’)

Thinkers rely on theory and the power of the mind. Much like ancient Greek philosophers like Plato and Aristotle, Thinkers prioritize theory over physical labor. Suitable career paths for Thinkers include medicine and classical humanities, like history and literature.

Creators (AKA ‘artistic’)

Artistic personality types excel in careers where their fresh perspective is appreciated. They do well in jobs that demand creative abilities and an artistic mind. Examples include graphic design, acting, and music.

Helpers (AKA ‘social’)

Helpers do well with people and like to find solutions to serious problems. They are compassionate and reasonable; two golden skills that will land them a job in a respectable environment. The suggested careers for Helper’s personality types include nursing and psychology-related pathways.

Persuaders (AKA ‘enterprising’)

A Persuader’s best fit is as the CEO of a company. This personality type admires the power and the ability to influence other people. Law and business are ideal career choices for Persuaders.

Organizers (AKA ‘conventional’)

Organizers are at the core of every career. Without them, chaos would rule the world. Conventional personality types thrive in jobs that allow them to curate the perfect set of rules with an itinerary to match. Such people are suited to careers in military planning, medicine, economics and finance analysis.

The Final Verdict

Using these tips, you can find a career path suited to your unique personality.

Remember, you are brilliant and capable of anything you set your mind to. The world is your oyster, so don’t be afraid to chase your dreams!

Advice for Women: Why Self-Care Isn’t Selfish?

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As women, most of us have a hard time prioritizing ourselves. It’s almost ironic to think that while we want to make the world better for the people around us, we do nothing of the sort for ourselves. Motherhood and femininity are a continuous cycle of service to others with very little return. Sadly, this constant practice of bending over backward leaves many women starved of self-care.

The Difference Between Self-Care and Selfishness

Self care is about creating positive experiences and thoughts for yourself whereas selfishness comprises of sheer hatred and lack of compassion towards everyone but yourself. There is a distinct difference between the two, and it’s high time we stopped treating them as one.

Why Self-Care is Important?

True. Self care demands that you spend time cultivating yourself. It is important because you, as a human being, not only deserve it but also need it. Without self-care, you’ll be left overworked and uncared for, which could take a severe toll on your physical health, leaving you with fatigued muscled and severe headaches.

When you incorporate self-care into your routine, you begin prioritizing yourself and putting your needs at an equal level to those around you, like your children. Self-care gives you the energy you need to make a difference in your life and the life of those around you.

In other words, self-care is about sustainability. You need it for survival.

How Self Care Can Change the World

You must have heard the phrase “change starts from within,” but have you ever pondered upon its meaning? Caring for yourself is important; we’ve established that. But how will it change the world? Let’s discover:

  • Self care teaches others how to treat you. Those around you will see you as important and value your opinions because you see yourself as important and value yourself. So, make sure you be your best when trying to lead others to make a positive change.

 

  • If you want to change the world, start with yourself. Then, move on to your environment. When you indulge in self-care, you come out feeling rested and nourished. This nourishment is more than just skin deep; it encompasses your mind, body, and soul and recharges them all, leaving you with the energy you need to create a positive change!

 

Remember, self-care starts with you, so stop postponing it and start taking care of your needs. You need it just as much as anyone else! Therapy is an important step to self-care.

Smart Guide: Top Ways How to Deal with Jealousy?

jealousy, rid of jealousy, happyWe all feel jealous sometimes. It is an emotion that we may experience now and then. It is common to feel insecure or jealous when in a romantic relationship, or when faced with the challenge of accepting someone better than you into your fold.

Feeling jealous of someone is part of the human experience, but it is not necessarily a good thing. Sometimes, the feeling gets out of hand and may turn you into a toxic person. Luckily, there are ways to rid yourself of this negative emotion. Here are some great ways to deal with overwhelming jealousy:

1. Look to Your Higher Self

Jealousy stems from a personal lack of self-confidence. When we see people who we feel are better than us, we are swept away by pangs of jealousy. The best way to eliminate any ill will we feel is by remembering we have positive qualities. We often forget to praise ourselves for our brilliant attributes. Every individual is unique and has a distinct talent to bring to the table. Focusing on such personal positives will boost our self-esteem. In turn, we will be less likely to express jealousy towards other people.

2. Tell Jealousy to Sit Down

Jealousy always wants what you don’t have and tells you that you are not good enough. It is insatiable and ruthless, so don’t feed it. Jealousy gives us a signal that we need to take control back into our own hands and away from our insecurities that feed the flame of resentment. Remember, the power is always in your hands. Make a smart choice and tell jealousy to sit down.

3. See Your Jealousy Differently

You may feel jealous or upset for a while, but if it persists, you should act on it. Jealousy is alluring on the outside, but an ugly monster on the inside. You don’t want to follow a monster like that! Your internal conscience often vaporizes when plagued with jealousy. To avoid acting on your negative impulses triggered by jealousy, always remind yourself that it is wrong. Doing harmful things to others will not make your life any better. Instead, convince yourself to turn away from ill will and try strengthening your ties with people by focusing on their positive attributes.

4. Discuss Your Feelings with a Neutral Party

Talking about your jealousy may help you analyze it better. By sharing your feelings with a person you trust, you open up the gates to a new and fresh perspective. A therapist may be able to guide your partner and you to see things from a positive viewpoint, work through your negative emotions, and co-create a better couple dynamic.

 

5. Place Trust in Your Partner

Jealousy is a common phenomenon in romantic relationships. You can be jealous of another couple’s success, or of the way a potential competitor interacts with your significant other. Lack of trust in your partner when they interact with such people is one of the main reasons why couples fight, but it should not come between your partner and you. Let them know you trust them. It will make them feel good about themselves and serve as a reminder for them to keep your trust.

Jealousy may be a toxic trait, but with some help and patience, you can overcome it for good!

Ultimate Guide: How to Recover From a Broken Relationship?

 

Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings out there. An immeasurable amount of sonnets, play songs, and poems have been written over a broken relationship. Broken Heart Syndrome affects one in every 100 people who die of myocardial infarction, or heart failure. With such scary statistics, it is no wonder that people are always searching for ways to heal a broken heart.

Recovering from a broken relationship hurts, but the sooner we bite the bullet, the better. To help you navigate through the emotional turmoil it brings your way, here is a list of things you can do to recover from a broken relationship:

1.     Let Yourself off the Hook

It is easy to blame yourself and take full responsibility for a breakup or divorce even when it isn’t your fault. To help yourself heal after heartbreak, take note of the fact that a relationship is a two-person partnership and that the blame cannot solely fall upon one person only. Cut yourself some slack and take a breather. There is never just one person to blame.

2.     Value Yourself Above Your Relationship

As human beings, we are diverse and capable of much more than we allow ourselves to attempt. Do we limit ourselves by measuring our worth through how good we were in a romantic relationship? To recover from the emotional turbulence, you should value yourself according to a metric that is independent of your relationship with your partner. Pride yourself on all the amazing things you have accomplished in life, like your job, current financial stability, college or high school diploma, children, and anything else you should be proud of! You must remember that there is so much more worth living for than a romantic venture and that someone better is out there waiting for you.

3.     There Are Plenty of Fish in the Sea

Recovery takes time, but once you begin to feel better about yourself, go out and meet new people! While the connection you had with your last partner may have been special, remember that every relationship is unique and that there are many new connections out there just waiting to be forged! So put on some lipstick and your best dress because it’s time to find yourself a new partner!

 4.    Find Therapy

If you need additional help, therapy can be a wonderful resource to provide you with support and new tools to assist in letting go.

woman insomnia

Why Do Women Have More Sleepless Nights?

There is no question that women generally get less sleep than men. They are raising young children and have significant hormone fluctuations making it harder to catch those necessary zzzz’s. In fact, the Society for Women’s Health Research found that women are 1.4 times more likely to report insomnia than men. 

But, research shows there is more to it than that. A study published by the Sleep Research Society and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine reports that women have a higher genetic risk of developing insomnia than men. 

Part of the increased risk of insomnia is also attributed to women being more prone to mood disorders like anxiety and depression. Many of the same brain chemicals that are disrupted in someone with a mood disorder are also involved in regulating sleep. 

And, what about time? There is just not enough time in the day to do everything. In addition to being the primary caregivers of their children, women are also the primary caregivers of their elderly parents. Coupled with the desire to hold careers outside of the home, women are forced to decrease their sleep time to complete all their responsibilities.

It is exhausting.

If you are suffering from insomnia, what can you do? 

Therapy can help.

Talking to a licensed professional counselor can help to align your priorities and figure out an appropriate schedule. Therapy can also help teach healthy coping skills to combat symptoms of mood disorders so you aren’t staying up all night worrying.

If you experience chronic insomnia, three or more nights a week, then you should consider seeking the help of your health care provider or sleep medicine specialist. There are solutions to help curb the frequency of sleepless nights. 

Sleep is important to our overall health, and especially our mental wellbeing. When we don’t get enough restful hours we are more easily agitated, anxious, short-tempered, emotional, and it is hard to think clearly and focus. So many women put sleep to the side, they don’t feel like they have the time to get the hours in, but it is so important. 

 

Summertime is the best time…for teens to get therapy

Summer is approaching us and that means kids are out of school. It means more fun in the sun, sports, vacations, and a break from the chaos that is the school year. And, while it might not be at the top of your radar—it is the best time for your teen to get therapy. 

Many parents think of therapy as a school year thing. They see their kids struggle with stress over school work and friend drama and they think about getting their kids help. And, while that is great, often times schedules get in the way and it seems impossible to add another thing your child’s roster. This is just one reason why summer is a great time to begin therapy. Your child will have the time to focus on making healthy choices and gaining the skills they need to get through stressful situations. 

Children and teens can use therapy to reflect on the past school year—what worked, what didn’t, where where the problems, the successes, etc. A licensed counselor can help to teach your child healthy coping mechanisms, skills, and routines that they can use in the upcoming school year. It is almost like getting new clothes and notebooks before that first day—your child can also stock up on healthy brain tools. 

Frequently, parents see many of the problems their teen struggles with dissipating during the summer months. But, that doesn’t mean the problem has been solved. The child is momentarily separated from the situation, but those same problems will likely reemerge at the start of the school year. By getting ahead of problem situations before they arise, your child will be prepared to handle them before they become a real issue. Not to mention, you will be setting him/her/they up for a successful adulthood. 

If you have concerns or questions about getting your child started in therapy, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a licensed professional. He/she/they can answer your questions, ease your worries, and help you determine the best path for your child. 

How to overcome commitment issues

If you are a person who is fearful of commitment, someone who enjoys being close to others but grows distant when the relationship becomes more emotionally involved, then you might struggle with attachment issues.

Many commitment issues stem from past relationship experiences and/or our attachment to our parents or primary caregivers as children. It all comes down to having our needs met and being confident that if for some reason a relationship doesn’t work out, it’s ok. The good news is even if you are a person who has a hard time moving forward in relationships, there is hope in overcoming these struggles. It just takes some effort on your part. 

Moving Forward is Possible

Talk to a therapist. A licensed mental health professional has the proper training to help you move from unhealthy attachment styles to secure attachment. Proper counseling can help to heal the deep wounds that are causing you troubles now. Forming a secure relationship with a therapist can help to increase feelings of security and help make sense of the past. 

The first part of overcoming attachment struggles is to identify the problem. You must first understand where these emotions are coming from so you can work to heal them. A therapist who asks the right questions can help you to identify aspects of your childhood that may have led to your current emotional state. 

Second, it is important that whoever your partner is has a healthier attachment style. Being with someone who understands what a healthy relationship looks like can further help you to heal by developing more trust in others and how they will respond to your needs. That being said, you don’t need another person to heal, but if you are in a relationship try to choose a healthy one—one that makes you feel good, one that is not full of jealousy and insecurity. 

Third, believe in yourself. You do have the ability to move forward and have a happy, committed relationship.

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201802/healing-attachment-issues

What to do when your family doesn’t believe in mental health

I hear the argument against counseling and mental health all the time. People say “my family doesn’t believe in mental health and say I don’t need to see a therapist.” They think it is “unnecessary,” or a “waste of time,” “useless,” etc. But, think about it this way — who do you talk to about car problems? A mechanic. Who do you call when you have a sore throat or a cough that won’t go away? A doctor. Who do you see when you have pain in your tooth? A dentist. 

Those who don’t believe in mental health don’t know anything about mental health. You talk to your mechanic about your car, your doctor about your physical health, and your therapist about your mental health. Talk to your family about what they are competent in—maybe it is their opinions about cooking, sewing, sports, parenting, marriage, etc. But if you are struggling with emotional concerns, depression, anxiety, marital issues, parenting strategies, etc. talk to someone who is trained in these topics and can help to give you healthy tips to move forward positively in life. 

Wonders for the Willing

Therapy is one of those things that can do wonders for the willing. If you are open to the first step of coming into an office setting to try to improve your life, to work towards living your best days, then you could benefit greatly. Your friends and family might think they are helping by telling you that you don’t “need therapy” but there is nothing wrong with seeking help when you are struggling. In fact, that is a healthy step in the right direction—kind of like eating more vegetables, going to bed earlier, and exercising. 

Leave the mental health expertise to the mental health professionals and take care of you. 

Sometimes We Are Not What Our Teen Needs

As a parent, I understand that “I know what my child needs” feeling. We are, after all, the ones who have been with them since they were born. We have changed their diapers, kissed their boo-boos, and held their hand every step of the way. So, when the time comes where you find out your teen might not always need you the way you think, it can be hard. 

I had a parent of a teen say to me once, “my teen told me she talked about XYZ during therapy. I have never heard about those things. That’s not even the issue, her issues are ABC. I know, because I am her mom!” I told the parent how great it was that her teen was confiding in her and opening up to her about what she had talked about in therapy. Then I asked how the parent approached the conversation. She said, “I told her that she should have talked about ABC.”

Ask what is important to them?

Sometimes as parents we are looking too much at the big picture and we miss the fundamental details. We think we are helping but we are actually not. We forget to look at what matters to our child, our teenager. We fail to ask what is important to them? 

I asked the parent how she felt that the teen was opening up to her about what she was talking about in therapy, and expressing what was important to her? The parent stopped for a minute, stunned. She admitted that she had never thought of things that way. She was spending too much time hovering that she missed the opportunity her teen was giving her to connect. You don’t need to hover, you don’t need to be the “cool” parent, sometimes you just need to be a “still” parent. Take it in, be the ears your teen needs instead of inserting what you think you know they need.