Tag Archives: women

How to Get Your Ex Back If They Are in a Rebound Relationship

rebound relationship, rebound

Losing your significant other is tough, but seeing them with someone else is a tall order. Often, seeing an ex with someone new can remind us of all the good times we shared, which sometimes makes us want them back. It is not uncommon to start seeing new people after a break-up, though most such relationships are rebounds that don’t last very long. If that’s the case, you can still try to get your ex back. Here are some tips to help you:

1.   Speak to a Counselor or Therapist

In most of the cases, it’s your behavior or habits that pushed your ex to the point of breakup. If you suffer from matters that you believe may have led to the breakup, this is the last time to work on them before you rebound does. Some examples of these issues are.

  •         Lack of Passion
  •         Insecurity
  •         Extreme Jealousy
  •         Lack of Communication Skills
  •         Inability to Commit
  •         Lack of Social Skills
  •         Lack of Motivation in Life
  •         Inability to Trust
  •         Controlling Nature
  •         Low Self-Esteem

If you feel any of these points resonate with you, it is time to start working on them. If you don’t know how to work on these issues, speak to a counselor or therapist may be the best thing to do.

2.      Work on Yourself to be an attractive personality over Your Rebound

A break-up is rarely a one-sided affair. While you may have had a good many reasons to leave your ex, they must have their fair share of complaints, too. To win them back, you must acknowledge the areas in which you are lacking. Are you too controlling, insecure, or unorganized? Find out why they left you and focus on improving those aspects. The more self-improvement they see, the higher the odds are of them wanting you back.

3.      The No Contact Rule

Your ex needs to realize how much they need you. For this to be possible, you must cut off all contact with them for four weeks. Do not call, text, or drunk dial them, even by accident. The chances are that if they miss you enough, they will reach out. However, this rule does not work for everyone. If you feel your ex will misinterpret your attitude as a cold shoulder, skip this tip!

4.      Value Yourself

Your ex needs to know just how great you are. Self-respect and confidence go hand-in-hand. When you value yourself, your ex will understand that you deserve the best. When you do get a chance to talk to them, make it clear that you used the time after your breakup to work on yourself instead of crying over them. This will show maturity on your part and prove that you can handle a relationship. Moreover, don’t express jealousy towards their rebound date. It will only make you look weak and lacking in self-respect.

With these great tips, your ex will get over their rebound and be back to you in no time!

Ultimate Guide: How to Recover From a Broken Relationship?

 

Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings out there. An immeasurable amount of sonnets, play songs, and poems have been written over a broken relationship. Broken Heart Syndrome affects one in every 100 people who die of myocardial infarction, or heart failure. With such scary statistics, it is no wonder that people are always searching for ways to heal a broken heart.

Recovering from a broken relationship hurts, but the sooner we bite the bullet, the better. To help you navigate through the emotional turmoil it brings your way, here is a list of things you can do to recover from a broken relationship:

1.     Let Yourself off the Hook

It is easy to blame yourself and take full responsibility for a breakup or divorce even when it isn’t your fault. To help yourself heal after heartbreak, take note of the fact that a relationship is a two-person partnership and that the blame cannot solely fall upon one person only. Cut yourself some slack and take a breather. There is never just one person to blame.

2.     Value Yourself Above Your Relationship

As human beings, we are diverse and capable of much more than we allow ourselves to attempt. Do we limit ourselves by measuring our worth through how good we were in a romantic relationship? To recover from the emotional turbulence, you should value yourself according to a metric that is independent of your relationship with your partner. Pride yourself on all the amazing things you have accomplished in life, like your job, current financial stability, college or high school diploma, children, and anything else you should be proud of! You must remember that there is so much more worth living for than a romantic venture and that someone better is out there waiting for you.

3.     There Are Plenty of Fish in the Sea

Recovery takes time, but once you begin to feel better about yourself, go out and meet new people! While the connection you had with your last partner may have been special, remember that every relationship is unique and that there are many new connections out there just waiting to be forged! So put on some lipstick and your best dress because it’s time to find yourself a new partner!

 4.    Find Therapy

If you need additional help, therapy can be a wonderful resource to provide you with support and new tools to assist in letting go.

How to curb your daughter’s people-pleasing behavior

Traditionally women have been taught to not show anger, to be complacent, to hold in their negative emotions. History has also shown us that those behaviors are not a healthy practice for anyone. But, many young women still display these kinds of behaviors. They want to be people-pleasers. They don’t want to make people angry or be the source of any negativity. 

It Is Ok To Stand Up For Yourself

As parents, we want to teach our daughters that it is ok to stand up for themselves. We want to end these people-pleasing behaviors. We want to teach our children that emotions are ok and to not hide them. So how can we curb this behavior?

Show by example. Demonstrate to your child that it is ok to be mad. As a parent, you can be mad without hurting the relationship. You can have a good quality relationship but still show anger. Show your daughter that arguments happen, that sometimes you get angry with your spouse, friends, and her. 

What Really Matters Is How You Repair

Then, show her what really matters is how you repair those arguments. How do you reconcile? When you get into a disagreement with your child show them the healthy ways to repair those mistakes. Talk to your daughter about it, explain the problem, be open with your emotions and your anger and then talk about how things can be done differently next time. 

Lessons For Everyone

These are important lessons as parents. They are difficult ones to teach because we don’t ever want to be the source of anger for our children and we don’t want to yell but we also have to be realistic. We hold the very important role of teaching our children life skills. The examples we set are the things that stick with them in tight moments and throughout their lives. 

women can do anything

Sisters who are generals show us women really can do anything

I came across an article in The Washington Post the other day about the first sisters to become generals in the U.S. Army. The article made me feel proud to be a woman in this day and age and happy to see women putting themselves out there and going for these high-level military positions. 

Anyone who is familiar with the military and the news knows that being a woman in the military is not an easy thing. Sexual assault reports for women in the military rose 38 percent last year.

Just 16 percent of the military’s 1.3 million active-duty personnel are women, according to the article. Faced with steep competition from their male counterparts, it is no wonder that many of these women fill low ranking positions.

Becoming a general is something that required a whole lot of hard work, according to these sisters. And, for that I commend them. They didn’t give up. They worked hard and earned these positions. 

There is no question that as a nation we still have quite a bit of work to do in terms of gender equality. But, the best way to break down barriers and to shrink the gap is to keep trying. The more we stand up for ourselves, do what we believe in, fight for those positions we want (and deserve), then, the more we can continue to make headway in this constant struggle. 

These women show us that any woman can accomplish her dreams if she puts her mind to it. We are strong. Whether it be becoming a football player or an Army general, women can fill the same roles as men. Women really can do anything. So, I thank these women for setting this example for others and for following their hearts.

perimenopause

Hormone changes at 40 can impact mood

As women, we generally think of the big changes in our body to be puberty and menopause but other precursors could be impacting your mood. Forty is generally too young for most women to experience full-blown menopause but some symptoms start to show up, often referred to as perimenopause.

These symptoms can mean this milestone birthday is the start of a host of emotional and physical changes. Perimenopause is caused by hormones. It generally means your body has too much estrogen and not enough progesterone. So, how can these changes impact your mood?

Change is normal

First of all, you might feel like your body is a bit off which can create distress on its own. You might grow more worried about things, begin to feel sad that you are getting older, or just be generally uncomfortable with the way you feel. Other things perimenopause can cause are increases in anxiety, short-term memory loss, fuzzy thinking, difficulty with multi-tasking, fatigue, mood swings, difficulty concentrating, anger, or a sense of urgency.

As distressing as these changes can be, it’s important to remember that it is normal. This is part of life and getting older and as uncomfortable as it can be, it can also be a sign of starting a new stage in life. If you are having trouble dealing with your emotional and physical changes, it can be helpful to speak with your doctor on ways to deal with things and lifestyle choices that may help ease symptoms. Seeking help from a licensed counselor who specializes in women’s issues can also be helpful during this time of adjustment.

It is hard to feel like you are not in control of your body and your mood and these changes that are going on, but you are not alone. And, getting older isn’t a bad thing. Think about it as a time to find a new appreciation for the simple things in life.

Lets Put An End To Period Shaming

Think periods. The cramps, the bloating, the aches, the moodiness, the downright shitty feeling. Does anyone actually feel good when they are on their period? Now think about what you do when you are on your period — do you talk about it? Noooo that’s taboo. Who talks about it? Well, 51 percent of the population goes through, or has gone through, a period — so why aren’t we comfortable talking about it? 

Do you hide your pad or your tampon and scurry to the bathroom? Do you pretend that everything is ok when all you really want to do is curl up on the couch? 

Part of being a woman

This is period shaming and it is something that many of us are accustomed to. We were raised as young girls to hide that we were having “that time of the month.” We buy tampons in discrete packaging. We purchase scented pads to ward off any passerby. Really girls? Yes, this is part of our life. It is part of being a woman. It is something we were born with. It is how we procreate. It is a beautiful—yet oh so miserable—part of human nature. Yet it feels like something we need to keep a secret. No one talks about it. 

The other day I read an article in Ad Week and it really struck a chord with me as a woman. The article focused on a company that is changing the way women’s menstrual products are advertised. They are throwing out the famous blue liquid for a true blood depiction, without being too shock and awe, of course. Rather than showing women who are supposedly on their periods rollerblading, swimming, hiking, bike riding, and laughing with their friends and families, they are being real. For so long ads for women’s menstrual products have shamed women into thinking they need to hide this basic part of being female. Everything has been focused on “avoiding leaks,” “feminine scents,” “discrete packaging,” etc. It really is ridiculous when you think about it. 

Positive Changes

This company is doing it right. They are treating periods like the common cold. Let’s be real. No one is ashamed to grab a tissue when they have to sneeze. So, why is it so shameful to grab a pad when that time of the month strikes? 

For more information, the full article is here: https://www.adweek.com/brand-marketing/how-one-of-todays-boldest-marketers-is-shattering-stigmas-inflicted-on-women-worldwide/

 

Self-Esteem: Men vs. Women

Self-esteem is a tricky thing. It plays an important role in our lives. It influences how we act around others, the decisions we make, how motivated we are in our career, and how we feel in our own skin. It is at our very core as people. And, while it is a crucial factor for both men and women, the way the different genders find that self-esteem, determine their self-worth, is very different. 

Men find self-esteem internally. It is based on their personal accomplishments, things they are proud of. Maybe it is fixing a car, repairing a household appliance, achieving a career goal, or tackling a level in a video game. Regardless it is not about someone else telling them they did a good job, it is about that internal celebration and belief in themselves. That is not to say that it doesn’t help to have praise, but men don’t need it to find their self-esteem. 

Women, on the other hand, tend to find their self-esteem externally. They rely more on external validation — be it praise, a “good job,” a smile, hug, laugh, whatever it may be. Women, while they might know deep inside that they have done a good job, still need to hear it from others. They have a harder time trusting in themselves and a harder time feeling good about their achievements without receiving some type of external validation. This is also why women tend to spend a lot more time worrying about their outward appearance — be it the cleanliness or look of their home, or their personal appearance. 

You don’t see a lot of men worrying about the look of their wallet, and a lot more men are inclined to go out in sweats and not care what others think of them. Whereas a lot of women won’t leave the house without makeup or their hair done. 

It is these differences that can make it harder for women to have high self-esteem. Women worry much more about what others are thinking of them than men do. I frequently encourage women to look deep inside and find those good qualities about themselves and to let go of what others may think. What is inside is what really counts, and how we talk to ourselves can make a big difference. 

An ode to the Indian women standing up for their rights

You have probably seen it in the news, on January 1 in Kerala, India 5 million women formed a wall with their bodies for the right to enter a Sabarima temple. It is something that we should feel proud of as women. It is proof that we are strong and when we stand together powerful things can happen.  

These 5 million women demanded respect. They want to see an end to violent agitations against any women trying to enter the temple. They stood up for what they believe in — and for that I congratulate them. We all know it is hard to be a woman in this world but every day we see women coming together asserting their rights and freedoms. 

It takes guts. There is no doubt about that. But, the only way we are going to see change in this world is to stand up for it. We can’t just sit back and ignore the way we are treated. We can’t brush it off and stand by as if we have no choice. We do have a choice. We can turn our heads to disrespect and we can demand equal treatment. 

We may not be in India but this is a lesson for us all. We deserve the same rights, the same access as any man. And if we stop being complacent big things can happen. We can show the world just how strong we are. 

I congratulate these women — all 5 million of them — for standing up for what they believe in. And, I encourage you to embrace this example of unity. Use it as motivation in your own life to stand up for what you believe in, and to be your beautiful, unique self. Don’t let anything get in your way. 

Why are more women being diagnosed with ADHD?

Over the years I have seen an increase in women coming to me with symptoms of Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD. Many of them are concerned they may have ADHD and are looking for a solution. It got me thinking. Why are we seeing such an increase? What has changed to cause more women to experience symptoms of ADHD? 

Our reality as women has changed. We are busier than ever before while still facing the pressures of traditional gender roles. We are still expected to take care of our homes and meals. Many women now have taken on professional careers outside of the home environment adding to the mounting pressure. We are worried more than ever—about everything. Not to mention we are constantly in a state of comparing ourselves to others with the rise of social media and smart devices. Those women who choose to stay home struggle with feeling stir crazy and unfulfilled. We are easily distracted. 

All of the stress modern-day women are struggling with is causing them to lose sleep. They are staying up to later hours trying to get everything done. They are feeling the pressure to be the Pinterest mom or the perfect housewife/cook but also the career woman. Research shows that lack of sleep could be exactly what is contributing to symptoms of ADHD. 

The disruption of day and night rhythms, staying up later, eating at different times, variations in body temperature and physical movement, all of it can contribute to inattentiveness and challenging behavior, according to research done at the Vrije Universitiet Medical Centre in Amsterdam. This research also showed that people with ADHD had a rise in the hormone melatonin an hour-and-a-half later in the day than those who did not, contributing to that lack of sleep. All of this pointing to the reality that ADHD might actually be a sleep disorder. 

Similar studies have also found that those with ADHD had higher rates of daytime sleepiness than those without, making it harder to focus. Other symptoms such as restless legs syndrome and periodic leg movement are also common in those suffering from ADHD, according to the National Sleep Foundation. 

The bottom line is we are overwhelmed, overworked, and exhausted. We aren’t sleeping as much and therefore we are finding it difficult to focus. If you are someone who is struggling with symptoms of ADHD, it may be helpful to seek out a licensed professional who is trained in helping adults.

Sources:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2017/09/22/could-adhd-be-a-type-of-sleep-disorder-that-would-fundamentally-change-how-we-treat-it/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.40c10b6da7af

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-disorders-problems/adhd-and-sleep

My daughter thinks another girl is pretty: Part 2

As mentioned in Part 1 of this series, my five-year-old daughter thinks another girl is pretty. She decided she wanted to give her a pretty plastic ring, so she made her a card and put the ring on it. 

During the process, my daughter said she was embarrassed and “scared.” She said a few of her female friends were making comments like “eww, that girl isn’t that pretty anyway” and “I am weird.” It doesn’t surprise me that female competition is beginning to start at her age. Child and adolescent psychologist Katie Hurley describes in her book No More Mean Girls: The Secret to Raising Strong, Confident and Compassionate Girls the trend of toxic female competitiveness that is creeping down from high school, and starting as young as grade school. She offers many reasons for this, citing busy schedules, rise in stress and anxiety levels, and increased pressure for children to do well in sports and extracurriculars.

Girls uplifting other girls

I responded to my daughter’s concerns over giving this card to her friend, by telling her “we can show people we like them in many ways.” I told her, “girls can think another girl is pretty. And girls can uplift another girl.” Her twin sister also supported her, the best any five-year-old can. She also made the girl a card that said: “my sister thinks you are pretty and wants to give you a ring.” Afterwards, the twin quietly told me she doesn’t care if girls are not “suppose” to like girls, she loves her sister anyway. I told her, “we can like people in many ways. We are just going to send nice words to uplift another girl! Cool, right?!”

We, adults, have a lot to learn from young children about loving and not judging each other. We are conditioned to compete with our peers. We draw on our insecurities and instead of turning them into positives, we put other women down. We are not being uplifting because we are afraid of other women being more successful, prettier, “bigger” than us. We need to dig deep inside and find that inner strength to uplift each other. Us, women, we need each other. We need the support from others, the kindness, the acceptance. We should be helping each other to feel good about ourselves, instead of doing the exact opposite. 

How do you uplift the women around you?

More on Hurley: https://www.thestar.com/life/relationships/opinion/2018/02/08/why-girls-are-getting-meaner-younger.html