Are you fighting about holiday plans? Nowadays, deciding where, how or to whom to celebrate Christmas this year is even more difficult compared to the last decade due to the impending threat of COVID-19. Gathering in large crowds, visitation, and going to public places have been restricted, making the season less special.
You might have plans to stay at the best resort in town, but sadly, it only caters to a few guests, and your partner doesn’t agree either. Or, perhaps, you reserved tickets to spend the festive season overseas, but quarantine days might take a while and the requirements to travel might be more stringent.
So, instead, you decide to stay at home. But your significant other would like to invite the in-laws over tomorrow for the holidays, and you don’t feel safe letting them see your kids. And now your head’s all over the place and you don’t know what to do.
First and foremost, finding yourself disagreeing with your partner means you are in a healthy open relationship. A couple’s fight is a normal thing. There’s no way that two distinct individuals agree in everything at all times no matter how the universe brought you together to be in love. There’s more to discover between you and seeing yourself in a fight can be a good avenue to know your partner more and explore each distinct value and priority. So don’t feel bad and think that your partner disagrees with you all the time. There has to be a reason so you need to listen or hear each other out. Find a way to talk and compromise. This is a season of love, forgiveness, and kindness. Let no room for hate, anger, and fights. You both know that everything is for your best safety.
What to do now?
So tomorrow is the big day, and your in-laws are coming whether you like it or not. There seem to be only a few options available to you.
Completely removing yourself and your children, and live in a hotel. That may be drastic to some, but this is an option that’s available to you. Your partner and your in-laws may not be happy, but it’s an option.
You and the kids wear a facemask and get a good quality air filter for the home. Stay 6 feet apart, and serve food on plates instead of having everyone dig in. Perhaps considering serving holidays outdoors in the backyard. You may hear your partner and your in-laws arguing with you about that. Keep calm, and look at the big picture: a harmonious holiday where you feel safe. The only thing you need to say is, “I just wanted everyone to be safe. And this makes me feel better.“ You don’t need to argue, that’s all you need to say on repeat. Eventually, they will be tired of hearing the same thing and give up.
How to stop fighting about holiday plans?
However, if your argument seems to be endless, then there’s no point in talking. It will only make the situation worst and might ruin your relationship long run.
After the holidays, consider therapy (individual or couples therapy). Although our name is Women’s Therapy Institute, we also work with men. We don’t bash men and do not put men in an unfair situation. The therapists here have good relationships with the men in their life, whether partners, fathers or sons. We believe couples therapy is a place where both people in a couplehood remain balanced and fair.
In therapy, you will understand why your partner has different opinions or preferences from you. What could be the reason behind his opinions or suggestions? How to know the borderline that your fight isn’t healthy anymore? When to stop, how to control your own emotions so you can display your perspective clearly. Things like these become clear when you talk to a therapist or someone who does not take sides whether you or your partner’s.
It’s not too late to look for the best individual or couples therapist. Contact us today at 650-272-0388 to schedule an appointment for an individual or a couple’s therapy services. Ti’s the season, and do not let the pandemic ruin the relationship!
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