Tag Archives: help

What to do when your family doesn’t believe in mental health

I hear the argument against counseling and mental health all the time. People say “my family doesn’t believe in mental health and say I don’t need to see a therapist.” They think it is “unnecessary,” or a “waste of time,” “useless,” etc. But, think about it this way — who do you talk to about car problems? A mechanic. Who do you call when you have a sore throat or a cough that won’t go away? A doctor. Who do you see when you have pain in your tooth? A dentist. 

Those who don’t believe in mental health don’t know anything about mental health. You talk to your mechanic about your car, your doctor about your physical health, and your therapist about your mental health. Talk to your family about what they are competent in—maybe it is their opinions about cooking, sewing, sports, parenting, marriage, etc. But if you are struggling with emotional concerns, depression, anxiety, marital issues, parenting strategies, etc. talk to someone who is trained in these topics and can help to give you healthy tips to move forward positively in life. 

Wonders for the Willing

Therapy is one of those things that can do wonders for the willing. If you are open to the first step of coming into an office setting to try to improve your life, to work towards living your best days, then you could benefit greatly. Your friends and family might think they are helping by telling you that you don’t “need therapy” but there is nothing wrong with seeking help when you are struggling. In fact, that is a healthy step in the right direction—kind of like eating more vegetables, going to bed earlier, and exercising. 

Leave the mental health expertise to the mental health professionals and take care of you. 

This is why ‘mom brain’ exists

Moms are always doing a million different things — thinking about what to make for dinner when to get the laundry done, what to get at the grocery store, when to practice spelling words and work on that school project. We are answering calls from doctors offices, trying to schedule playdates, and for some, we are working on our careers outside the home. It is non-stop. We end up forgetting things, feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and just “not ourselves.” This has become known as “mom brain.” 

The science of decision fatigue

Research from neuroscientists around the world point out some of the reasons why this phenomenon exists and it comes down to multitasking and decision fatigue. From the moment moms wake up to the moment they go to bed they are faced with question after question, tasks to be done, decisions to be made. If you have young kids chances are you often feel like your head is moving in a 100 different directions at one time. 

All of the stuff we are taking on on a daily basis is causing us to miss things, make mistakes, forget next steps. But, it’s not all bad research shows that our brains change after having children to be more responsive to our children and aware of their needs. Unfortunately, that doesn’t make it any less exhausting. So what can we do to improve our “mom brain,” and improve our emotional health as parents? 

Start by implementing processes to minimize decisions. Establish routines and things will become commonplace rather than something you have to think about. For example, every night before you go to bed take care of lunches, clothing options, etc. Have the kids make their beds before they leave their rooms. Have them decide what they want for breakfast, and ask for their help in making lunches/breakfasts the night before. If you have school-age kids put a note on the front door to remind them of the things they need to bring to school with them and leave it up to them. Have them get in the habit of getting homework out and giving you all notes from teachers the second they get home from school. It is these small steps that can help minimize decision fatigue. 

Involve the rest of the family

Eliminate the dreaded meal choice by putting dinner options in a bag and having the children pick from it. Plan meals out on Sunday so you don’t have to worry about them the rest of the week. Stop trying to please everyone. Have those who complain about their meals make their own food. 

Remember lists are your friend. Use them. Write down what you need to accomplish for the day or the week and then you will feel like you have less running through your head. Organize your days and your thoughts will follow. 

Acknowledge that “mom brain” actually does exist, and understand you are not alone. Every mom is struggling to keep on top of everything (even if they look like they have it all figured out). It is ok to ask for help (in fact, it’s encouraged), and take time to care for you.

Source: 

Thrive Global 

Psychology Today

Why you need to CONNECT before you can CORRECT

We live in a world of interaction—talking to friends, family, coworkers, children. Sometimes we lean on each other, we ask for help or opinions on different things. When we are unsure of ourselves asking for the opinion of others can be a helpful tool in determining what the best course of action is, but first—you have to have a connection of sorts. 

You might be asking, what I could possibly mean by this? Think about it this way—it’s like talking on a cell phone with a person who has lost cell connection, they don’t hear you and nothing is going through because there is no connection. Connections can happen in many ways. It could be a common interest, similar life events that cause you to relate, it could be that you admire this person for some reason or another, or that he/she/they have reached out to you in a way that makes you feel ‘at home’ with them. You can have connections with people you have never met through the internet, like bloggers or writers who you feel an affinity for. 

Without that connection, however it comes to be, your words will not carry the same amount of weight. You cannot correct someone before you connect. If you are at work maybe it is proving to your boss that you are a valuable employee, connecting with them by showing your passion for the job. That might open the door for he/she/they to better respect your ideas and opinions. People listen to others when they have a mutual respect for them. It is all about the connection. 

If you are a teacher trying to correct a child in school, you must first find similarities to create a connection. For example, a child who needs help from a reading specialist and the reading specialist brings up her love of hockey, knowing the child is also a fan—now they have a connection. Now, the child is more likely to absorb the information and make the correction. It is a valuable tool for anyone in business, in life, in family, in success. Take an interest in the people around you, show them you care, and make the connection.  

How do you connect with those around you?