Everyone feels “broken” at some point on their journey through life. It is that unbearable pain, that adversity, feelings of hopelessness, and despair that shapes us. These experiences teach us about who we are, and they help us grow as people.
As hard as it is when you are in the thick of suffering, as a counselor I don’t see being “broken” as being a bad thing. The only real way to live a full, happy, evolving life is to overcome the challenges thrown our way. Think of a seed—a broken seed sprouts and germinates generating new roots.
It is easy when caught up in a moment of despair to avoid life—to go forward with feelings of regret, pain, disillusionment, and sadness. Rather than living in fear of those “broken” moments, I encourage you to embrace them—to focus on the positive, the future, and persevere.
What do you do if you feel broken inside?
Here are a few tips to help you when you are feeling broken inside:
1.) Remind yourself change is inevitable. We cannot avoid change, it is part of life. Rather than fight it—accept it.
2.)Embrace the power of choice—you have the choice to control your thoughts. As hard as it may seem to shape what we do and how we feel, you can make the decision to live your life. To choose to search for the positive. To continue to get up and get dressed and get going during those moments of despair. You do you.
3.)Ask for help if you need it. Life is hard, and you aren’t expected to know all the answers. Sometimes it takes a conversation, a new perspective to help lift us up and pull us out of the holes we sometimes fall into—and that is ok. Make an appointment for therapy, call a friend or a relative. It is ok to not be ok.
4.)Be in the moment. Mother Teresa said “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” We don’t know what tomorrow has in store, and there is no point in wasting time regretting things of the past. You are here today—so be here.
5.) Focus on the things in life that bring you joy. Those things will help to bring you out of your place of pain. Whether it be exercise, cooking, spending time with family—do the things that bring a sense of happiness to your being.
6.) Find hope. Tomorrow is a new day, and anything can happen. You will get through this moment and you will find happiness again.
No one can predict the future. There will most likely be more times you feel “broken” but those times will only continue to help you grow, to learn more about yourself, and be the best version of you.