Tag Archives: pleasure

cougar grandma

There is no age limit for intimacy

Human beings like intimacy. We need to be touched and to feel sexually-wanted and attractive. We want to experience the benefits of good old sexual pleasure—the release of endorphins, the natural stress buster. We want to feel good. These needs don’t end as we age, they might change a bit, but they don’t end. 

I read an article the other day about an 83-year-old woman who is using the popular dating app Tinder to find much younger men to have sex with. In the article, she says “My life goal is to change the awful, decrepit view of aging – view and experience, and turn it into something exciting. A life-loving adventure. The depth of life, you can’t avoid it. But the shallowness of good sex, that’s what is good enough for me.”

I found her openness and her passion for life exhilarating. Who said that getting older meant you had to stop having sex? Or stop trying new things? Stop having adventures? Life is short and it is what we make of it. We can choose to enjoy it until the very last drop or we can decide to put an expiration date on certain behaviors because, well, we just don’t feel they are appropriate. But, let’s get real here. We are all human. We all enjoy connection. This is a very basic part of being a person that should be enjoyed to the very last drop. 

Getting old doesn’t have to be depressing. Being older just means we have had more experience, we might be a little frailer or struggle with our health in ways we didn’t use to, but we are still on this earth. Each day gives us a whole 24 more hours to enjoy being on earth. 

Take a tip from grandma Hattie, and love your life. Do what your heart desires. Enjoy being you. 

Teens and Sex: Teens are choosing to have more anal sex now

As a way of avoiding pregnancy, more and more teens are choosing to have anal sex now than ever before. It is more common than you may think — or care to know. I understand it can be difficult to think about, but it’s important for us parents to empower ourselves with updated knowledge about our teen’s world.

In the book Vagina by Naomi Wolf, Wolf writes about how gynecologists report an increase in girls coming to their offices with fissure tears in their anuses from having anal sex. The tears—which are dangerous and susceptible to infection — are happening because no one is teaching people how to have this type of intercourse properly, safely, or pleasurably. 

Despite whether we agree with the act of anal sex or not, it is happening. If you don’t already know the details of it, I believe it is important to learn. The article “Anal Foreplay – The Forgotten Prelude to Anal Sex,” by Jaiya Ma, is the perfect place to start.  Ma, a sexologist, shares knowledge and tips about how to take part in this behavior in a safe and pleasurable manner. She encourages people to take their time and utilize resources to make the experience a positive one for everyone involved. 

As a parent, it’s important for us to understand our teen’s world. Let’s begin with these: 

1.) Read this article, familiarize yourself with it and work through any discomfort surrounding this issue or embrace the opposite. If it lights you up, own it. Allow both to occur. Find out what those emotions are and come to terms with them before approaching the topic with your teen. 

2.) Talk to your teen. Let them know that may encounter (or desire) the suggestion (or make the suggestion) to have anal sex somewhere along the way. Reinforce that she/he has the choice to do whatever they are comfortable with — reinforce the crucial importance of consent. Explain the things about it that can be dangerous and unhealthy, and let them know that there are healthy ways to engage in the act if she/he/they chooses to. If you have a daughter, remind her that it is her responsibility to inform her partner because it is her body, and her health, safety, and pleasure are of paramount importance. 

3.) Give my teen the article to read. Or, if they can bear it, go over the article with them. 

There is no doubt any conversation surrounding sex with your child is difficult, but it is so very important to have these talks and to make sure they have the facts. As a parent, you can obviously address this issue however you want. But I encourage you to discuss it. 

As a counselor, this is part of what I do. I address the uncomfortable areas of parenting and sexuality and try to make it a natural topic of discussion — after all, sexuality is a natural part of life. Our role as parents plays an important part in how our children claim their true sexual expression in life. 

Source:

https://missjaiya.com/anal-foreplay/?fbclid=IwAR0stMMA7R8_u0Om0pFhyq-ED1RPMIE0oxQ638yVcdL9ABW6lJ3JugJMJ_g