Tag Archives: no

GUYS: NO IS A F****ING COMPLETE SENTENCE!

No. No. NO means one thing, it means NO. I want to shout it from the rooftops. There is no need to explain. No need to elaborate. If you are trying to have sexual relations with another and they say “no” that is all you need. That means stop. It means do not continue forward. Do not pass go. 

Those two little letters make up a complete sentence. They are instructions to stop. They mean that the other party has not consented to participate in this action with you. I don’t understand why this is so hard sometimes. All this talk about rape and “me too” in the news. Guys, this is a problem. It is a serious issue and it is out of control. It is never ok to keep going when you hear that word. It is never ok to assume she/he/they is “joking” or “doesn’t really mean it” or “will change their mind later.” No means just that. It means no. 

Never ok

I realize this post is getting repetitive, but I am not sorry. This very fact needs to be drilled into everyone’s minds. We are talking about consent here. Consent for sexual intercourse of any kind. It doesn’t matter if alcohol or drugs are involved. It doesn’t matter if the person “seemed interested” or was dressed in a manner that you viewed as “provoking.” It doesn’t matter if the person said they were interested earlier and then when things started they had a change of thought. It is never ok to continue after being told NO. 

It really is simple. It doesn’t matter what kind of urge you may be feeling, or need you might have to fulfill — you have no right to do abuse another person EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Let’s make the right choice here. Let’s do the right thing. Let’s remember that we are in control of our own bodies. We have rights to our own bodies. 

No is simply a way of closing the door, making a decision. It is a complete, serious, important, crucial sentence. It has no hidden meanings. No means NO. 

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In life, there are things that excite us. They make us feel alive and joyful. Then there are the other things, the things that make us say “Ummm…” and don’t provide joy. They are the things we may feel obligated to do or the things we do just to give them a shot but they feel more like work than something we want to be focused on. These things can be time eaters, energy eaters and they leave us less time and energy to focus on the things that truly make us happy. 

As my time gets filled up more and more these days, I have made a “hell yes” list and “hell no” list. Ten percent of my list are absolute “hell yes” items and another 10% are absolute “hell no” items. Those items are non-negotiable, meaning I will either be definitely doing them or definitely not. The other 80% of things are in-between. Of the in-between items, I try to say “yes” to 25% of the things and “no” to the other 75%. Why? Because that way all that energy I was focusing on things that did not bring me joy can be focused on the things that I want to be doing. 

This is a great way for me, as life gets busier and more overwhelming, to keep things in perspective. I want to live a joyful, fulfilling life but in order to do that I need to focus the majority of my energy on the things that make me feel good to be alive. They are the things I look forward to waking up to. The things that make me feel good, and make me a better person. Of course, we have those things we have to do that we don’t really want to but by limiting how much of our time we spend on those things we have more time for the things we really love. Life is short, don’t waste your time on the stuff that doesn’t drive your soul. 

What is on your “hell yes” list?