Tag Archives: move on

How to get over a breakup

No matter what the relationship entails, breaking up is hard. It means change and uncertainty over the future. It can easily unravel your current life as you know it. You are probably feeling overwhelmed with all the emotions as you go through the five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. There it is. 

You will get there. You will find acceptance. But how do you do it? How are you suppose to move forward? It is all in the power of your thinking. 

Someone once told me that accepting a break up means there is no future with that ex. No wonder that person was struggling with moving on — why would the heart want to move forward when it sees no future? That is a pretty bleak and daunting way to think about your future life. Rather than looking at the break up as the end of everything, pivot your viewpoint. 

The reality is — we do.not.know if down the road you might have a new beginning with your ex.  So much can happen in the future. You don’t know if you will meet someone new, someone, you have an even stronger connection with. Regardless of what the future may hold, you have to accept the end of this current relationship (as you know it) before you are able to move forward. 

You have to let the death process of the current relationship take place. Travel through those five stages of grief so you can find a new beginning. Don’t prevent yourself from having a future relationship by avoiding acceptance. Just because this one relationship is currently over, does not mean there is no hope for the future. There is so much potential. So many different ways events can take place and shape our lives. Make the conscious choice to change your thinking and find the positive. 

Today is a new day

It really is a wonderful gift to be able to let go. To see each new day as exactly that—a new day.  It is something I encourage you to try to do. If we can see each day as a reset and leave yesterday as yesterday, if we can stop all the dwelling, and the what ifs, we would all be so much happier. 

Today is a new day. You woke up fresh. You are alive. You have the ability to make the day what you want. If you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, then make today about getting away from the norm…whatever that entails. On days when I feel consumed by work and household chores, I break out of the mold. I take my kids to the park instead of going home to my mess, I go shopping or meet a friend for breakfast instead of going back to the computer. We all need those days to recharge, to reenergize, to get back into the groove.

“Everyday is a new beginning. Take a deep breath. Smile and start again.”

Maybe you have been feeling sluggish and unhealthy lately, and you find yourself waking up each morning full of regret for what you did yesterday—stop this! You have the power to change your thinking and your actions. So what if yesterday didn’t go as planned, oh well, today you can start fresh. Let go of yesterday. We can’t go back, so stop letting it ruin today. If you are finding it hard to see each day as a reset to your life, here are some tips to get you on the right track:’

1.) Focus on the positive: Sure yesterday might not have gone as planned but you are alive today, you have your family, your friends, your job, the sun is shining…whatever it is that is good in your life focus in on it. 

2.) Strive to do something nice for someone else: Maybe you aren’t feeling too good about something that happened yesterday. Why not turn that regret into something more positive. Take a moment to do something kind for someone else. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but a little kindness can go a long way in making someone else feel good and giving yourself a reason to feel good about yourself.

3.) Practice mindfulness: You just woke up and you are suddenly overcome with anxiety about the day. You have to get the kids ready and off to school, you have a big project due at work, what are you going to make for dinner? Take a second to stop, look around you and say to yourself, “I am here, I am sitting on my bed, my kids are asleep” and take a deep breath. Bring yourself back down to earth and take it one step at a time. 

4.) Do something healthy for yourself: Each day, strive to take a healthy step for you. Whatever that may be. It could be exercising, eating a salad instead of a cheeseburger, watching a movie with your kids instead of working late into the night. A few small steps to make you feel better can go a long way toward helping you feel happy.

5.) Let go: The theme of this post. It doesn’t matter what happened yesterday, it is out of your control. You can only control your future. 

If you have trouble letting go of yesterday, it can also be helpful to speak with a licensed counselor. He/she can help you put things into perspective and come up with a plan to start each day fresh, and let go of all that stuff we can’t change.