Tag Archives: let it go

What to say when someone calls you a “bitch”?

Sometimes it happens. We are viewed as a “bitch” to others because we are busy or anxious and trying to get things done quickly or efficiently. Or, we are standing up for ourselves or someone else. But, what do you say? How do you handle being called a “bitch”? 

That word can come off as hurtful. First of all, there is no need to “take it as a compliment.” After all, it is not a very nice word. There is also no need to go the high road, or the low road, with the person. You don’t need to ignore it and you don’t need to feel bad about yourself for being called such a thing. 

There are two key ways to tackle the situation: 

1.)React in a funny/snarky tone— you could say “I get bonus points for that, right?” Then go back to what you were talking about and blow it off. Don’t take it personally. Don’t dwell on it. It is just a waste of your energy. 

2.)Be a leader in the situation— if you are standing up for yourself or another, or a cause that is near and dear to your heart, you could say “we are here because we care about xyz and name calling doesn’t solve the problem.”

It is all about setting a boundary but maintaining morale. By reacting in a funny tone you are showing the other person that you are not going to let their name calling get you down. By being a leader you are telling them that your actions have a purpose and name calling is pointless. Both reactions set a boundary with the other person that their words are not going to go any deeper than just words. They aren’t accomplishing anything by saying those things. 

It is unfair that women who stand firm and are strong in their beliefs can come off as “bitchy” when in reality they are just passionate. Understand that if you are subjected to such name-calling that it is because you are a strong, passionate person, and that is something to be proud of. 

Are you having a pigeon day or a statue day?

Sitting in a restaurant one day with my five-year-old, I noticed a sign that said: “some days you are the pigeon and some days you are a statue.” I had a little giggle about it and thought this might be a fun way to teach my children about the ups and downs of life. 

The truth is some days you will be the pigeon, going about your business and living a carefree existence, and other days you will be the statue getting pooped on by the pigeon—metaphorically, of course (unless it is really one of “those days”). So now when they are having a tough day, I ask my children in a humorous tone “are you having a pigeon day or a statue day?” It helps my children to identify the ups and downs of their life, talk about it, laugh about it, let it go, and understand that life is not all good all the time. 

All in the way we think about it

Life is not easy, we all know this, but we have control over the way we process life’s ups and downs. It is all in the way we think about it. Some days don’t go as planned—you overslept, the hot water in the shower was used up, your toast was burnt, you were late to work, it can go on and on and on… and these moments have the ability, if you let them, to disrupt the rest of your day and rub off on the people around you. Rather than sulk about how much your life sucks, at that point in time, laugh it off. Except that today you are the statue, and maybe tomorrow you will be the pigeon. 

Let it go, take a deep breath, and look for the positive in the situation. Maybe you missed some early morning drama at work because you were late, maybe you had a couple extra minutes to spend with your kids, maybe you treated yourself to a special coffee or a chocolate bar, or maybe you just need to accept that tomorrow is a new day. 

The way we react to the ups and downs of our days can teach our children a lot. It is important that we set good examples and help them process their feelings. Maybe they forgot their gym shoes or didn’t get the seat they wanted on the bus, or the cafeteria ran out of pizza before it was their turn —teach your kids to reassess, to look for the positive, to understand they will have pigeon days and they will have statue days. Little moments don’t need to lead to a pile-up of unhealthy emotions, they need to be let go.