Tag Archives: internal

anger

How Does Anger Affect Your Body?

Anger can be a tricky emotion to process. It tends to come on quickly and move throughout your body igniting a response. Just as quick as it comes on it can lead to some unfortunate events—poor choices, misdirected responses, damaged relationships, violence. 

We have all felt angry, but few of us really know how it works and how it impacts our overall bodies. By understanding how the process works, maybe we can better help to train our brains to think first, then react. 

First Things, First 

Before you are even aware that you might become angry, a spark (disappointment, frustration, judgment, rejection, fear, etc.) activates the amygdala—located in the brain’s medial temporal lobe, this part of the brain is known to play a key role in the processing of emotions. 

Once the amygdala is triggered it immediately becomes ready to turn on the body’s stress response system, often referred to by scientists at the “HPA axis” (Hypothalamus, Pituitary, and Adrenal). This starts the chain reaction of hormones—or the spread of fire throughout.

The Chain

The amygdala signals the hypothalamus, which then signals the pituitary gland by discharging the corticotropin-releasing hormone. The pituitary glad signals the adrenal glands by releasing the adrenocorticotropic hormone. The adrenal glad then secretes stress hormones like cortisol, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

These hormones quickly get to your neurons and cells causing you to feel a whole lot of unpleasantness, usually making you feel like you must react in some way. 

The Explanation 

Anger might sometimes feel unexplained — but why? But the truth is it did come from somewhere, that first spark. Identifying the exact reason for your anger can help you to work on your internal self, and why you might feel the way you do, and help you to react in a calmer, un-impulsive fashion.

For example, you are mad at your husband for coming home late after being out with his friends. Why are you really mad? Probably not because your husband was having a good time, but rather — he didn’t call and you were worried (fear) about his safety? Or, you are angry with your kids because they didn’t listen when you asked them to put their shoes on five minutes ago — you aren’t mad because they don’t have shoes on, you are frustrated because they didn’t listen. And now you are going to be late (judgment).

Tomorrow’s post will explain how stress hormones can change your brain.

For more information and a visual on this reaction, visit https://www.nicabm.com/brain-how-anger-affects-your-brain-and-body-part-1/ 

grief comes from love

Grief Comes From Love

The difference between grief and mourning.

Grief and mourning are often used interchangeably. They are used to describe the same thing but they are actually very different from each other.

Grief comes from love. It is internal. It is deep within you. Grief refers to the way you feel inside. Your thoughts, your feelings. That initial shock and pain of losing someone/something we love. It is that feeling of being “torn apart.” It is a private struggle.

Mourning is step two. It is an external response. It is usually a shared response with other loved ones. It is social, like a funeral or memorial service. Mourning takes that internal emotional response and externalizes it. It is an action— like planting a tree, holding a service, sharing memories with family or friends. 

External mourning is important when moving forward through loss. It allows us to get our feelings out, to release them and connect with them differently. Without mourning, our grief can turn into something that is carried with us in private causing continuous pain. That is why we tend to choose something to represent and memorialize the person/pet we have loss. We want to let out some of that emotion and feel ok again. 

Moving forward, and accepting a loss does not end the pain forever. It will still come and go with time and often change the way it shows its face. But it is important that we recognize the difference and understand the benefits of mourning as a community, leaning on each other, offering support. You can’t hold it all inside forever.

Why is it so hard to build self-esteem?

Self-esteem, self-worth are so important to mental health. And, so many of us struggle with improving our self-esteem. We never feel good enough. We find it difficult to love ourselves, to be proud, to feel satisfied in our own shoes. Why? 

Why is it so hard to build self-esteem? We live in a society where we have long been taught to tie our self-esteem, or self-worth, to personal achievement. We have goals we want to meet, jobs we want to get, and we work hard to achieve them. Once we get there we feel good, yes, but for how long? That one achievement is never enough. It is a dangerous cycle. It feels good to achieve a goal, and we do experience an increase in endorphin levels—and we like it. That feeling, that feel-good rush becomes our baseline as people. 

We always want to feel that good. We always want to achieve the next big thing. So, we continue to strive for more and more. Always looking to get higher and higher. I am not saying this kind of motivation is all bad. Of course, we want to be motivated to do well, to try hard, to achieve our personal best. But at some point, we have to be satisfied. The problem with tying our self-worth to achievement is we are never satiable and therefore never feel good enough. We never achieve a stable level of positive self-esteem because things are not all roses and butterflies all the time. There will be moments when you can’t go any higher.

Rather than tying our self-esteem to achievement, let’s switch gears. Connect your self-esteem to your personal qualities, the things that make you YOU. Maybe you are a compassionate person, a good friend, hard-working, loving, easy to talk to, open-minded. Maybe you are the one always willing to help a neighbor. Maybe you are good at making others laugh. We all have special things deep inside us that make us wonderful, beautiful people. Maybe you have been through a whole lot of hell in life and you are stronger than ever. Embrace that strength, look in that mirror, and love yourself. You are worthy. You deserve personal respect. You deserve to feel good about the person you are deep down inside. So what if you didn’t become an Olympic swimmer, or you didn’t get that job you tried so hard for, you are still wonderful, beautiful, unique YOU.