Tag Archives: friends

friendship burnout

Friendship Burnout, it’s a thing

Whether you have been friends since you were children or just for a few months, it is possible to suffer friendship burnout. Yes, it’s a thing. Even the people you feel like you have a close connection with can eventually get under your skin. 

You might start to feel like this person is driving you “crazy,” or getting on your nerves. Even the smallest things might seem like big things because you don’t have that same connection anymore, or you need a break.  

Change As Time Goes

Life is tricky like that. We all change in different ways as time goes. Different things become a priority than what used to be. We all have changes in our passions, ideas, mindset that happen as we face different life experiences. All of these can contribute to friendship burnout. 

Spending too much time together can also lead to burnout. I remember as a child my mother would make my friends leave after a certain amount of time. I never quite realized why. She would always say “I don’t want you getting sick of each other.” And, she was right. The more I thought about it, those “too long” playdates often ended in arguments. 

The Internal Argument

We all want to be our own people and sometimes after too much time with the same person, it can be hard to feel like we have our own sense of self. That can create a bit of an internal argument leading us to be more easily agitated by our friend. 

Sometimes the solution to friendship burnout can be to spend some time apart. Go your separate ways. Spend time with others in your life. You may eventually come back around to each other. You may just need that time away. Or, you may grow apart. Both are normal parts of life. 

Its Ok

It is ok to grow apart from others, and it is ok to admit you need a break. It is better to separate than to force yourself to stay in a friendship that is always leaving you feeling frustrated or annoyed, and could eventually become toxic. 

abandonment article

Feeling abandoned can be painful

When we think of painful life experiences many times we jump right to trauma, but abandonment can be just as raw and painful as physical or emotional trauma.

Abandonment, such as a parent or grandparent who suddenly leaves a child, can stay with a person through their whole life. It can be easily triggered by other situations, such as a significant other who doesn’t call one day or forgets to say goodbye before they leave for work. When it is triggered it often floods the person with fear, panic, and intense shame — why am I not worthy of someone sticking around? What is wrong with me?

Raw Pain

That pain can be just as raw as it was on the first day of abandonment. That intense fear of being abandoned again can develop into harmful coping strategies that actually increase the risk of being rejected. This could include being clingy to a significant other, getting upset at missed phone calls or missed connection, severe jealousy, or complete isolation from others, to name a few. It can be a never-ending spiral of events.

Deserves Attention

If you or someone you love has experienced some type of abandonment it is important that he/she/they recognize that experience deserves some attention. It can seem easiest and safest to push that experience deep within and to not share it with anyone, but it will only compound and lead to more abandonment down the road. Seeking help from a licensed mental health professional can help to confront those feelings and develop healthy coping strategies, leading to healthy relationships.

Social media may be affecting your self-esteem

It is commonplace these days to pick up your phone at any moment of downtime and peruse social media platforms. Research shows as many as 77 percent of us, according to Statista, have at least one social media account. 

Maybe you frequently post pictures of your kids or your dog or read about the happenings of old friends or colleagues. Whatever your reason for turning to social media, its use could be impacting your overall mental health. 

It might seem harmless, a way to combat brief moments of boredom in our constantly moving world. How could seeing what your friends or even strangers (if you are part of a group) are up to impact your mental health? It’s because whether you are consciously aware of it or not, you are comparing yourself to others. You are thinking “wow she looks great,” “they have such a beautiful family,” “I wish I was that successful,” the list goes on and on and on. 

The Best of the Best

Let’s get real here — the majority of pictures and posts we are seeing on social media are the best of the best. They are painting these perfect pictures of our families, our careers, our travels, and our friendship circles. 

A variety of studies, according to Healthline, show a link between social media use and decreased overall self-esteem and increased anxiety and depression (especially in our children). People have reported feeling more lonely after visiting a social media platform. It is kind of odd when you think about it — the very thing that is supposed to bring us closer together may actually be making us feel more alone. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are benefits to social media— increased awareness of certain issues, sharing of news, communities of support, and an ease to connect with those far away from us. But, it is also important that we recognize the negative impacts these types of behaviors are having on our health. 

Take care to recognize the amount of time you are spending on these websites and how you feel when you get off of them. Then, work on limiting yourself so that you don’t continue to harm yourself mentally and emotionally. Choosing certain times of the day or week to unplug is important. 

How many times a day do you turn to social media? How does it make it you feel?