Tag Archives: example

How to curb your daughter’s people-pleasing behavior

Traditionally women have been taught to not show anger, to be complacent, to hold in their negative emotions. History has also shown us that those behaviors are not a healthy practice for anyone. But, many young women still display these kinds of behaviors. They want to be people-pleasers. They don’t want to make people angry or be the source of any negativity. 

It Is Ok To Stand Up For Yourself

As parents, we want to teach our daughters that it is ok to stand up for themselves. We want to end these people-pleasing behaviors. We want to teach our children that emotions are ok and to not hide them. So how can we curb this behavior?

Show by example. Demonstrate to your child that it is ok to be mad. As a parent, you can be mad without hurting the relationship. You can have a good quality relationship but still show anger. Show your daughter that arguments happen, that sometimes you get angry with your spouse, friends, and her. 

What Really Matters Is How You Repair

Then, show her what really matters is how you repair those arguments. How do you reconcile? When you get into a disagreement with your child show them the healthy ways to repair those mistakes. Talk to your daughter about it, explain the problem, be open with your emotions and your anger and then talk about how things can be done differently next time. 

Lessons For Everyone

These are important lessons as parents. They are difficult ones to teach because we don’t ever want to be the source of anger for our children and we don’t want to yell but we also have to be realistic. We hold the very important role of teaching our children life skills. The examples we set are the things that stick with them in tight moments and throughout their lives. 

employee leaving

Ask Mabel: How do I handle a goodbye party for an employee leaving on unfavorable terms?

Dear Mabel,

An employee in our office who has been with us the longest, five years, has decided to leave to start her own practice. As to be expected, I am not very thrilled with her decision or the way she is making this move. She is asking if she can throw herself a goodbye party at the office to wrap things up with coworkers. I know that the polite thing would be for me to host such a shindig but I am uncomfortable with this idea. I don’t want to send the message that we celebrate people leaving this way. I am thinking that I should suggest she throw her own party outside of work. What do you think? Does this come across as rude?

Sincerely, Janet from Hawaii

Mabel: Hi Janet. I understand how this situation is a struggle for you as the head of the office. I do think it is reasonable to do a casual send-off lunch. Nothing over the top, just a formal low-key goodbye. After all, you wouldn’t want to let her go without any recognition. Tell her if she wants to have a party then she can do it on her own. You can explain to her that you haven’t hosted a party for a previous employee and have no plans to throw one for a future employee. It wouldn’t be fair for her to be the only one you threw a party for. She should understand this, and if she doesn’t oh well. You are making an appropriate and fair choice.