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men symptoms depression

Men Show Depression & Anxiety Differently

Men and women have different ways of reacting to feelings of anxiety or depression. Where a woman might cry or voice feelings of nervousness or unrest, a man might react in an angry outburst, alcohol-abuse, or even muscle aches and pains.

Difficult to Diagnose

This significant difference in reactions often makes it difficult to diagnose men. Many times they choose to not seek help and those around them don’t recognize the signs.

Often we think of men as jerks when they have a big emotional reaction to something that seems insignificant, when in fact they could be reacting that way because they are nervous or anxious. Men who are depressed have more issues with controlling, violent or abusive behaviors and inappropriate anger, according to the Mayo Clinic. Men tend to turn to escapist behaviors, like spending more time at work or sporting events. They might avoid coming home or attending group events.

Many men also find it difficult to display emotions like sadness or to find a release like crying, and instead hold those feelings deep inside resulting in muscle aches or pains, headaches, and dizziness.

Unhealthy Coping

All that holding in makes it hard to process feelings, leading many men to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as alcohol or drug abuse, or turning to risky behaviors like reckless driving. Rather than dealing with their mental illness or admitting they are struggling with some hard times, they drown their feelings turning themselves numb. It is no question that these behaviors are unhealthy and often contribute to relationship failures, job loss, and other personal problems.

Scientists don’t know the exact reasons why depression/anxiety symptoms show up differently in men than women, but it is likely due to many factors — brain chemistry, hormones, life experiences, and learned behaviors, to name a few.

Help is Available

Because men display symptoms differently than women, we must have conversations. Learning and recognizing the different ways men may display symptoms of mental illness, can lead to more men getting the help they need.

Why you need to CONNECT before you can CORRECT

We live in a world of interaction—talking to friends, family, coworkers, children. Sometimes we lean on each other, we ask for help or opinions on different things. When we are unsure of ourselves asking for the opinion of others can be a helpful tool in determining what the best course of action is, but first—you have to have a connection of sorts. 

You might be asking, what I could possibly mean by this? Think about it this way—it’s like talking on a cell phone with a person who has lost cell connection, they don’t hear you and nothing is going through because there is no connection. Connections can happen in many ways. It could be a common interest, similar life events that cause you to relate, it could be that you admire this person for some reason or another, or that he/she/they have reached out to you in a way that makes you feel ‘at home’ with them. You can have connections with people you have never met through the internet, like bloggers or writers who you feel an affinity for. 

Without that connection, however it comes to be, your words will not carry the same amount of weight. You cannot correct someone before you connect. If you are at work maybe it is proving to your boss that you are a valuable employee, connecting with them by showing your passion for the job. That might open the door for he/she/they to better respect your ideas and opinions. People listen to others when they have a mutual respect for them. It is all about the connection. 

If you are a teacher trying to correct a child in school, you must first find similarities to create a connection. For example, a child who needs help from a reading specialist and the reading specialist brings up her love of hockey, knowing the child is also a fan—now they have a connection. Now, the child is more likely to absorb the information and make the correction. It is a valuable tool for anyone in business, in life, in family, in success. Take an interest in the people around you, show them you care, and make the connection.  

How do you connect with those around you?