Human beings like intimacy. We need to be touched and to feel sexually-wanted and attractive. We want to experience the benefits of good old sexual pleasure—the release of endorphins, the natural stress buster. We want to feel good. These needs don’t end as we age, they might change a bit, but they don’t end.
I read an article the other day about an 83-year-old woman who is using the popular dating app Tinder to find much younger men to have sex with. In the article, she says “My life goal is to change the awful, decrepit view of aging – view and experience, and turn it into something exciting. A life-loving adventure. The depth of life, you can’t avoid it. But the shallowness of good sex, that’s what is good enough for me.”
I found her openness and her passion for life exhilarating. Who said that getting older meant you had to stop having sex? Or stop trying new things? Stop having adventures? Life is short and it is what we make of it. We can choose to enjoy it until the very last drop or we can decide to put an expiration date on certain behaviors because, well, we just don’t feel they are appropriate. But, let’s get real here. We are all human. We all enjoy connection. This is a very basic part of being a person that should be enjoyed to the very last drop.
Getting old doesn’t have to be depressing. Being older just means we have had more experience, we might be a little frailer or struggle with our health in ways we didn’t use to, but we are still on this earth. Each day gives us a whole 24 more hours to enjoy being on earth.
Take a tip from grandma Hattie, and love your life. Do what your heart desires. Enjoy being you.
As women, we generally think of the big changes in our body to be puberty and menopause but other precursors could be impacting your mood. Forty is generally too young for most women to experience full-blown menopause but some symptoms start to show up, often referred to as perimenopause.
These symptoms can mean this milestone birthday is the start of a host of emotional and physical changes. Perimenopause is caused by hormones. It generally means your body has too much estrogen and not enough progesterone. So, how can these changes impact your mood?
Change is normal
First of all, you might feel like your body is a bit off which can create distress on its own. You might grow more worried about things, begin to feel sad that you are getting older, or just be generally uncomfortable with the way you feel. Other things perimenopause can cause are increases in anxiety, short-term memory loss, fuzzy thinking, difficulty with multi-tasking, fatigue, mood swings, difficulty concentrating, anger, or a sense of urgency.
As distressing as these changes can be, it’s important to remember that it is normal. This is part of life and getting older and as uncomfortable as it can be, it can also be a sign of starting a new stage in life. If you are having trouble dealing with your emotional and physical changes, it can be helpful to speak with your doctor on ways to deal with things and lifestyle choices that may help ease symptoms. Seeking help from a licensed counselor who specializes in women’s issues can also be helpful during this time of adjustment.
It is hard to feel like you are not in control of your body and your mood and these changes that are going on, but you are not alone. And, getting older isn’t a bad thing. Think about it as a time to find a new appreciation for the simple things in life.