Tag Archives: adult

Peter Pan

Do You Have Peter Pan Syndrome?

Do you remember Peter Pan? You know the boy who doesn’t grow up. I mean, who doesn’t want to stay a child forever? Life was easy as a child, less responsibility, more fun and way fewer worries to consume our days with.

But, as an adult there comes a time when you have to grow up. At some point, you need to take on adult responsibilities and shift your priorities. Unfortunately, we are not surrounded in the magic that can keep us children forever. Growing up and shifting priorities is not a smooth transition for everyone. Some adults truly struggle with this change, which is why the term “Peter Pan Syndrome” was coined by psychologists.

What are some of the characteristics of Peter Pan Syndrome?

1.) Unwillingness to work hard when you aren’t motivated. We all know how hard it can be to get things done when you don’t feel like doing something, but unfortunately being an adult sometimes means doing things you don’t want to do.

2.) Dabbling in many different things. Rather than focusing your time on honing one skill, a person who has Peter Pan Syndrome might spend their time trying a bunch of different things because they can’t pinpoint the one skill they want to master.

3.) Aversion to networking. Meeting successful people in your career field of choice can be hard, yet necessary to find a job and/or move up in a position. You have to put yourself out there, talk and learn from others.

4.) Focusing on the long shot. We are all told to dream big, but at some point, you might need to shift gears from trying to make it big as a musician or a film star and instead focus on a more realistic area of interest. Maybe instead of trying to be a multi-billionaire rockstar, you become a music teacher. Or instead of focusing all your energy into being a successful actor, teach a theatre class.

5.) Abusing alcohol and drugs. These types of behaviors while often linked to addiction or other mental health conditions, can make finding and keeping a successful job difficult. It can make adulting that much harder to do.

6.) Blaming your failure on an external source. Often those having difficulty growing up don’t want to accept that they aren’t successful in their careers because they aren’t motivated to try, and instead want to blame it on something their parents, spouse, or former employer did/said. The truth of the matter is some people have come from war, hunger, poverty, abuse, etc. and have come out successful. It is all about finding that motivation to go after the life you want.

If you identify with one or more of these characteristics it might be helpful to talk to a licensed mental health professional, life coach, or career counselor who can help to guide you on the path for success. The first thing you have to do is realize that to be successful in a career you will need to grow up, as hard as that is, and if you are struggling with that reality there are tools to help you. Anyone can succeed in life and career, it will just take some willingness to make changes.

Adult Passions Stem From Childhood

Your experiences and major life events as a child can have a big impact on who you are as an adult. They have the ability to transform and shape you into the person you become. 

If you experienced poverty in any form as a child you may have the drive to help others in the same position as an adult. Maybe you were just a witness to some tough situations and you felt moved to make a difference in the lives of others who face similar circumstances. 

If you have experienced some type of injustice or tragedy it may influence you to work to advocate for others or to be a leader in a movement for reform. These experiences left a mark on your soul, a wound, a scar that has influenced your future actions. 

Impacting who we become

Injustice, tragedy, poverty, all of these things and more help us to take a stance on issues. There are many things that happen in our lives that lead us to who we become as adults. Whether they be traumatic, life-altering, eye-opening events, or consistent behaviors we experience as children they all contribute to who we are and why we behave in certain ways. They can be negative turned positive and lead you to help others. Or they can continue to fuel negatively in our lives and lead to unhealthy actions. You have the ability to turn negative into positive, you just might need a little help figuring out how to move forward.

Seeking help from a licensed mental health professional can help you to identify these events and how they have molded you into the person you are today.  A counselor can help to teach you healthy coping mechanisms and encourage you to use your negative energy for positive results. You are stronger than you think you are and you have the ability to end the cycle and create change.