Acceptance vs. Tolerance in Relationships

There is a difference between accepting and just “tolerating” your partner. Relationships are hard. You are each your own person, you have your own personalities, your own similarities and differences.  Love and Kindness When you accept your partner you are wholeheartedly loving and receiving him/her. Acceptance comes from love and kindness. It comes from the […]

What to do when your stepkids ‘hate’ you?

It is hard being a stepparent. You may feel like an outsider entering a family where there are children that are not blood-related and have another mom or dad living in a different house. You may butt heads. You may feel like they “hate” you.  There are many reasons why a stepchild might be angry […]

Anxious Attachment is Harmful to Teens

Is your teen falling for someone easily? Are they easy to pick a fight? They likely have an anxious attachment style.  Anxious attachment is something that develops when a child is young based on their relationship with their primary caregivers. In many cases it is a result of a parent who sometimes was very in-tune […]

Grudges vs boundaries: the powerful difference

Grudges and boundaries can often be perceived as similar — but they are so very different from each other.  Grudges are a form of punishment. It is constantly holding something over another person’s head, not letting them recover for a past failure, it is not accepting that people can grow and learn from mistakes. Grudges […]

How to get over a breakup

No matter what the relationship entails, breaking up is hard. It means change and uncertainty over the future. It can easily unravel your current life as you know it. You are probably feeling overwhelmed with all the emotions as you go through the five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. […]

Why don’t our old parents apologize?

When my Chinese mom felt bad about something she had done or said, she would serve up a giant bowl of rice with my favorite topping. That was her way of saying “sorry.” These actions are not uncommon in the Chinese culture, or among older generations.  Different cultures and different generations have different ways of […]

My daughter thinks another girl is pretty: Part 2

As mentioned in Part 1 of this series, my five-year-old daughter thinks another girl is pretty. She decided she wanted to give her a pretty plastic ring, so she made her a card and put the ring on it.  During the process, my daughter said she was embarrassed and “scared.” She said a few of her […]